Ogres

Ogres

  • Lifespan: - 50-70 years
  • Typical Height: - 10'-14'
  • Typical Build: - muscular
  • Distinctive Traits: - bigger than Orcs smaller than Giants
  • Where Found: - anywhere, often sharing settlements with other orcish races.

Ogres are very large, very ugly creatures. Larger versions of orcs, they are virtually indistinguishable from Trolls Usually anywhere from eight to twelve feet tall, they are found in varying shades of green, red, brown, and sometimes blue. Their senses are universally poor, but they make up for it the same way they solve all their problems: by smashing.

Like all orcish races, ogres have some ability to see in the dark, though none of them have true infra-vision, instead possessing merely good eyesight, like a cat or owl. This also does vary between the clans that spend most of their time on the surface and those that spend most of their time underground.

They are born with only one name. A male inherits his original name from his father, a female from her mother. When a young ogre has accomplished some feat, or become known in some fashion, a second name will be appended in front of the first. The longer an ogre lives, the more names he accumulates, and these names tell a story of that ogre’s life in reverse order. The most names one ogre is known to have possessed is seven; that honor belongs to Old Boss Thinky Grouchy Bludgeon Screamy Smush who might have had more, but he had a hard enough time remembering the seven.

Many siblings in ogre families are rare, because if two siblings of the same gender are born, then they will have the same name, thus necessitating a second name be prematurely assigned to one or both of them, and such names are rarely complimentary. They are usually along the lines of ‘Sleepy’, ‘Eaty’, ‘Poopy’, ‘Screamy’, and ‘Barfy’.

Your average ogre, of course, is concerned with nothing more than smashing things. As such, whenever they learn a new synonym for ‘smash’, said synonym will usually become instantly their favourite word, and they will use it as a battle cry until they become associated with that word. Such was the origin of the name of Stomp Squoosh Break Crush, a strapping ogre who lived about twenty years ago in the mixed orcish village of Cuddled Egg.

Stomp Crush began each day with a stretch and a declaration of “ME HUNGRY. ME EAT NOW.” He had a rudimentary understanding of pronouns, and was in that regard somewhat more erudite than most ogres. The intelligence (and attractiveness) of the orcish races tends to be an inverse function of their size. Goblins are small, cunning, and the females can occasionally be described as almost cute. Giants, on the other hand, can hardly even master basic nouns, and are so grotesque as to curdle milk and break mirrors with their very presence.

The resident ogre of Cuddled Egg would be served a dish of various raw meats and eggs for breakfast, then would declare, “ME STOMP NOW,” and the rest of the day would be spent practicing the finer techniques involved in wanton destroyment.

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